Understanding and Addressing Teen Dating Violence

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 U.S. high school students who reported dating during the 12 months before the survey experienced physical and/or sexual dating violence. 

Bhavika Parmar, MA, NCC, LPC, president of Triad Counseling & Consulting, Inc., in Dallas, Texas, defines teen dating violence (TDV) as a pattern of abuse among adolescents aged 12–18, in which the perpetrator displays a pattern of behavior to assert power and control over a former or current intimate partner. In addition to physical and sexual abuse, TDV can include emotional, verbal, financial, or cyber abuse. 

Parmar has witnessed the lifelong effects that TDV can have on the mental health of teens, often influencing their emotional and psychological well-being. The repercussions can drastically alter how teens perceive themselves, their interpersonal relationships, and the world around them. 

“TDV can lead to higher rates of depression, anxiety, PTSD, diminished self-esteem, substance abuse, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, and social withdrawal,” says Parmar. “Victims and abusers may both struggle to achieve academically, participate in work or extracurricular activities, or build healthy social and intimate relationships in the future.” 

Evaluating for TDV requires carefully identifying risk factors and warning signs within a safe and confidential space. Parmar places risk factors into four categories: social environment, dysfunctional family dynamics, challenges in emotional regulation, and unwarranted sexual history. Warning signs can include changes in mood, physical well-being, daily routines, online engagement, and communication patterns.  

Parmar recommends the use of evidence-based screening tools for both risk and protective factors, such as the HEADSSS (Home, Education/Employment, Activities, Drugs, Sexuality, Suicidality, Safety) Assessment, and engaging in direct communication. 

“Fostering open dialogue and posing open-ended questions can encourage teens to share more about their relationship dynamics, thereby facilitating the identification of appropriate support measures," states Parmar. 

Collaborating with school counselors to conduct a behavioral threat assessment can improve safety planning, too.  

“School officials and counselors should have safety planning discussions immediately upon relationship abuse being disclosed,” advises Parmar. “This awareness enables school security or a threat assessment team to evaluate the situation and take appropriate action when necessary.” 

In their assessment and planning, school personnel should consider if the perpetrator attends the school, according to Parmar. In addition, the Department of Family and Protective Services may need to be contacted, especially if the perpetrator is aged 18 or older.  

Victims of TDV often experience shame about the abuse and may be apprehensive about possible retaliation from their abuser. They may feel dependent on the abuser and fear being alone, therefore denying the severity of the abuse and clouding their understanding of what constitutes a healthy relationship.  

“It takes incredible bravery and strength to disclose and report abuse,” emphasizes Parmar. “Therefore, when a teen does open up, validate their experiences by communicating your belief in them and that this is not their fault.” 

Parmar highlights the importance of cultivating a secure and trusting environment that encourages teens to openly share their experiences without fear. This involves providing psychoeducation regarding healthy relationships, affirming their emotions and experiences, and facilitating coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills to foster empowerment. 

“Practicing effective communication and boundary-setting skills is crucial,” says Parmar. “In addition, provide resources and referrals to specialized social services and collaborate with the teen’s parents/guardians when necessary.” 

When involving parents/guardians, Parmar adopts a trauma-informed approach and provides psychoeducation on risk factors and prevention strategies. To establish crucial groundwork for initiating conversations with their teen, Parmar suggests outlining the indicators that their teen may be involved in an abusive relationship.  

“By empowering parents/guardians through communication skill-building and safety planning, they are better prepared to support their teens effectively,” says Parmar. 

TDV is a serious issue with far-reaching consequences, and Parmar urges increased awareness and advocacy for counselors. In addition to providing recommendations for appropriate support services within schools, Parmar suggests further outreach. 

“Counselors can engage in community-based outreach services and provide trauma screening assessments and training at local agencies. In addition, share resources and referrals to agencies that provide medical services, legal advocacy, and housing services. Encourage legislators to develop accessible trauma-informed programs and training within districts, too.” says Parmar.

Counselors interested in serving this population should receive training in trauma-informed care and interventions, according to Parmar. Become informed on the policies and procedures regarding consent for treatment, confidentiality, and the release of information, too. Parmar also emphasizes the differentiation between being the teen’s counselor, not the family’s counselor, when collaborating with parents/guardians. 

“Do not hesitate to seek supervision when uncertainties arise and guidance is needed,” says Parmar. “These can be challenging situations, and counselors must prioritize self-care and self-compassion to be successful.”

Bhavika Parmar, MA, NCC, LPC, received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from The University of Texas at Dallas and her Master of Arts in clinical mental health counseling, with Chi Sigma Iota honors, from Argosy University. She is a native of New York City but has lived in Texas for over 10 years.  

Parmar gained her professional and clinical training from a variety of clinical settings, including Fulbright Neuropsychology, Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center, South Asian domestic violence non-profits throughout Texas, and other private practices within the community. In 2022, she established her private practice, Triad Counseling & Consulting, Inc., where she provides trauma-informed, evidenced-based counseling services (e.g., CBT, TF-CBT, CPT). She specializes in treating anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD and trauma-related disorders, suicidal ideation and self-harm, LGBTQIA+ issues, executive dysfunction, mood disorders, relationship issues, gender-based violence, grief, stress management, and life transitions. She provides her services to pre-adolescents, adolescents, and adults of all ages. 

Parmar is fluent in English, Gujarati, and conversant in Hindi. She is a board member for South Asian SOAR and continues to provide counseling and outreach to South Asian domestic violence agencies throughout Texas. She has been featured on Voyage Dallas and Radio Caravan, a North Texas South Asian radio station. Outside of work, Parmar enjoys traveling, journaling, basketball, playing with her cat, spending time with her loved ones, and creating different types of art.